Awkwardness Thing
by Loethlin
Summary: Garrus witnesses Shepard cutting her hair and freaks out. Another Mass Effect Kink Meme fill.


Another Mass Effect Kink Meme fill.

The prompt was:  
>"<em>Femshep is with alien LI– preferably Garrus, but I'm pretty flexible since I think this'd be cute with just about anyone– and Shepard experiences something very human (i.e.; laughs too much and gets the hiccups, is extremely ticklish, gets a sunburn...). Sexytimes are optional, I mostly just want to see how an alien LI reacts to an utterly human thing that's totally strange to the alien LI."<em>

Additional features include Dirty and Clinical!Garrus, who thinks about sniping during sexytime, and Tattooed!Shepard. You heard me. She's a goddamn Marine. Have you ever seen a Marine without a tattoo? Oo-rah!

* * *

><p>"Oh, fuck the Spirits..." he moaned and leaned over the toilet bowl.<p>

"What?" she asked, confused, and put the scissors down.

"How can you even do that?"

"I'm just trimming my hair, it's not like I'm cutting off a limb..."

Heaving sounds came from Garrus's general direction. Even his nauseated panting was flanging, as if he was behind a big fan.

He was clutching his fringe protectively.

"Oh! I get it. Human hair don't have nerve endings, it's OK."

He looked at her doubtfully.

"It doesn't hurt you?"

"Naaah, hair is like... attached to your head, but no nerves. Like when you trim your talons. I love it when you touch my hair, but it's actually the sensation of my scalp being handled."

"No feeling in the fringe?"

"None whatsoever."

"That is so weird," he reached out to touch Shepard's half-trimmed hair. It looked lopsided, with the left side brushing her shoulder and right side just barely reaching behind her ear.

She purred softly and leaned to the touch. Rough, hard talons scratched across her scalp, causing her to visibly shiver. Another human thing.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled, bending her neck, exposing her throat to him.

He nibbled at her soft, pink skin and did a swift movement with his other hand, cutting off some of her alien, desensitised fringe.

Inch-long pieces of hair fell to her shoulders and to the floor, yet she still was kissing him, tugging at his armour and stroking his neck and mumbling incoherently in pleasure. He just had to touch her some more.

He stroked along her spine, groped her buttcheeks and her right leg ended up hooked around his waist. She pushed him against the wall and suddenly it was raining, pieces of her hair going down the drain. His hands under her general issue uniform were making sploshing noises.

She was ripping his armour away. Every piece off earned a lick on his mandibles or bite on his neck and in no time at all, he was just standing there in the artificial rain of her shower, naked and sinking his teeth into her neck and shoulders and she smelled so good...

He pulled her closer, just tearing the stupid shirt away, why would humans even hide the glorious expanses of their perfect skin under those shirts?

It wasn't perfect, however. Scars from bullets, knives, and even a tattoo marred her back. He pushed her against the wall, face first, just to look. He traced every imperfection with his index talon. Every scratch, bullet scar, and even the tattoo wasn't left unattended.

She moaned and leaned against him, the soft skin on her back rubbing against his plates. He pulled her hair again and held her close. She was giggling and writhing against him, tugging at his mandibles with her teeth and he just snapped.

There was a sucking noise when she clung to the wall, urged by his hand. She still managed to let out a tiny laugh, but he was having none of the giggling any more.

He ran his talon against her labia and found the opening, which he promptly filled. It wasn't that different from sniping with his favourite rifle.

Except, unlike his Viper, she was so soft and made all those noises when he touched her in the places turian women never had and the alien feeling around his cock was still very new to him.

She bent her spine, stretching, her back moving against him, scapulae digging into the plates on his chest in the most delightful way.

She steadied herself against the wall with one hand while the other snaked across her breast and settled on her hip, covering talons he was digging into her skin there.

It's when it hit him hard, oh, so hard, just how much he actually loved her, with all her strange, human quirks. He informed her of this fact between bites to her neck and she acknowledged with a soft "I love you too".

She started to get more insistent, pushing her hips against him, her breathing heavy. He picked up her pace and was rewarded with a long, content sigh.

He heard her talking softly, short, laboured sentences telling him just how much she enjoyed what he was doing to her. Another one of her human habits, the one he loved the most.

It wasn't long before he felt her muscles tense and contract around him, urging him to follow her, which he did, nuzzling her neck and taking in the scent of her climax.

He leaned against her and allowed himself to breathe again. She was purring, making her shoulders vibrate.

"Baby, you can pop my heatsink any time," she said and turned around, smiling, to kiss him. Yet another thing about her he didn't quite grasp, but enjoyed nevertheless.

"You'll never let me live it down, will you?", he groaned in embarrassment, but pressed his forehead against hers.

"Nope, never," she giggled and kissed him again. "Come on, help me finish trimming my hair. You made a bit of a mess here."

She curled a strand of her hair on her finger and tugged, contemplatively. "Or are you going to freak out again? Not that I mind _this_ kind of a freak-out."

"I'm going to be fine. But I still think it's weird."

She laughed and stroked his fringe.

It made him purr.


End file.
